How often is burying your head in the sand or remaining in denial about fear? I’ll bet it’s most of the time. Think about the times that you just don’t want to think about something, don’t want to discuss something or want to pretend it’s not so bad. I thought about this because I was having trouble working on my 2011 goals. Yesterday was a day that I couldn’t do it. Today I could. What changed?
For one thing, I was more rested, I had a hard ride on my trainer, and I went to church. All of those activities put me in a calm frame of mind. The ride made me feel strong, the sleep helped me to better able contain my emotions and my fears, and the church helped me pause and reflect on all the gifts in my life. Fear drives so much of what we say, think and do. When we react defensively, we are afraid of being revealed as less competent, less intelligent, and maybe less worthy of respect and attention. We also fear the person delivering the message we are reacting to. We suspect their intentions, we think they see through our veneer and are calling us on that. Often, it’s none of that. We are only projecting our subconscious fear onto the person or the situation.
So back to the goals. I mentioned in my last post some of the things that make us afraid of setting goals and measurement. Often it’s lack of confidence in ourselves and our ability to accomplish our dreams. But more often it’s our fear of failure, of letting others down- but even worse. Letting ourselves down. Today I realized that all of my goals are within my grasp. It’s up to me. I can choose to believe I can’t do- and then act as if I can’t do it. Or I can set my goals, look at the obstacles, chart a path around and over the obstacles, and get closer to my dream. I can also adjust my goals as I go along- because things change.
Goals are simply the beginning of a path. The goal isn’t the end. It just helps you set the direction. And along the way, you need to look at the goals and correct your course. And if you do, you didn’t fail. You looked at your outcomes, read the situation and didn’t waste time. You adjust and you change.
Now that feels alot better.