Trust Learning Solutions

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Deborah,
What you are teaching your son about being "present" will serve him well. As you know I am a big believer in creating relationships based upon commitment rather than compliance and one of the foundations of a relationship like that is respect.
These executives to me displayed their lack of respect fror each other, themselves, and you in a hundred subtle ways in how they treated you from the get go!
I this time where there is so much energy being spent on rebuilding the economy it is too bad that these "executives" missed the email about the foundation of rebuilding an economy is based on relationships, which as you point out start with trust.
If these clowns were willing to treat you, an invited guest in this fashion I can only imagine how they interact with their subordinates and employees, and privately their customers!
Your own reactions immediately reminded me of reading Malcolm Gladwell's BLINK- and what our "instincts" tell us if we really listen.
As to the revenue you "lost" I suspect that had you pursued a relationship these men are incapable of learning what you would trying to convey and too arrogant to accept any personal responsibility fore their failure- by trusting your impressions you saved yourself a lot of grief.
I employ a similar technique with new clients or potential clients. I watch how they interact with employees, servers in resturaunts, and similar places. If they are dismissive of them, I don't take them on as a client because my instincts tell me one day I will be the recipient of the same kind of behavior.

I disagree that "Integrity is all about moral principles". But I wholeheartedly agree with you that "Integrity is about being authentic, real, consistent and sincere." Say what you mean, do as you say, and remain true to your word. Sometimes your word can and should be implied, for example when someone belongs to a community that shares explicitly stated (or even implicitly obvious) values. However, it's always a good practice not to assume that people have the same intentions. So if in doubt, to ask for clarification. Whatever answer you receive becomes the person's word that they then need to honour in order to stay in integrity. Let's not keep trying to make ourselves right by imposing our standards on others. So I would say that Integrity is all about being true to your stated moral principles. But integrity is more than about moral principles. It is about being true to anything you declare for yourself.

I agree that the inconsistencies in behaviour you mention are often interpreted to be a lack of integrity. However, let's first define the term. For me, integrity simply means "to honour your word".

Looking at your examples of lack of integrity using my definition as a filter, you will find that in most cases the individual whose integrity is being questioned, in all fairness, should not be accused of not honouring their word. In other words, in many cases, it is the relying person who is creating an implied "word", one that the person whose integrity is being questioned neither stated nor knowingly implied. Before judging, first assess where you may be cause in the matter. Are you giving meaning to something that is simply your story, and not rooted in reality. Just because someone shows interest in you when you have value to offer them, does not necessarily mean they should continue to have interest when you don't. Even if the person claimed they were your friend and you could rightfully expect them to treat you consistently, and they are out of integrity when they don't call you back, does not necessarily mean that they lack integrity, only that in that instance for whatever reason (couuld be any kind of distraction) their behaviour is out of integrity.

I agree however, that if you share values with another person and they act in a way that is inconsistent with the values they declared, then it would be fair to say they lack integrity. But this only applies if they have actually breached a value that they claim to aspire to, and not one you imagine them to hold.

I always like to remind people that trust is contextual. You cannot generalize about expectations from the same person in different contexts. It is therefore important to distinguish between your business life and your personal life.

Yes it is true that long established icons of trusts must do all they can to ensure product reliability, but if a person has been with a company for a while, they've learned the product is essentially good, and personal experience has shown me, that will overcome many things. Consider what happened with my wife and her coffee maker. She wanted one like this that would do a cup at a time, so, when she got it, the coffee tasted better. Talk about perception being everything(!), because we all know that coffee is basically going to always taste like, coffee! The first maker went out after 3 months use, she called the company, they said send it back they'd send her another one! Imagine how that went, imagine how it worked out - and they did, and she did, and six months later, it went out, they said, we'll send you one, you send the other back, imagine that, look at all the various components there...but they did, and she did, and now, six months later, that one goes out, same process, we are now on number four- but my wife loves them- of course my question is, what about trust? What about the fact that her perception was so strong that it overcame any norms of what we'd associatively in reasonable advertising call "establishing trust." Toyota will come out of all of this sparkling - and why, because the overall perception of this company is based on a history of good stuff!

What I find most interesting about trust is how little it is valued by people voted into office in such respectable positions of trust.

There must be a recall mechanism to withdraw those elected officals when they betray the public trust, to protect us, the citizen.

Without trust in their daily duties the public is not well served and the corruption and deciept that follows not only ruins people, it also undermines the valuable work done by those who are trusted.

Can you ever remember those great politicians? No, we first remember the bad ones as seen in Dr. Dixon's examples. We tend to paint the entire electorate with the same brush of distrust and make the bureaucrats earn our trust in them by their actions.

Having said all that, it's too easy to elect a person into office, but when they fail, it takes another election. Let's make trust a viable requirement for a potential politician, or anyone in public office for that matter, make them more accountable to the voters and fire them when they screw up.

In my humble opinion.....

Hi Deborah! Great Work! Looking forward to finding out more about Trust Learning Solutions